Sayings debunked: 1/425a

by plastiquesmile

‘Slowly slowly catchy monkey’:

In the 19th century, in Britain, the monkey had just been discovered and as with most new discoveries it wasn’t too long before someone thought outside the box. Jamie Oliver’s great great grandad (possibly) first put monkey on the menu at his pimlico bistro in 1837. Pretty soon word spread and before you knew, it was on the menu for most establishments in the city.

However, said monkeys were catching on too and eluding capture. Parliament had to hastily pass a new bill that there was a minimum time period for catching monkeys, or penalties would be given.
Special devices were built [see fig a]

fig a:

Due to such device’s efficiency, the zoos began to run out of monkeys and so the supply stopped.
People soon developed a taste for crocodile. This ran till 1893 when the humble pigeon caught on instead.

With the consumption of monkeys, crocodiles and pigeons, world stocks were exhausted. Thus anywhere you think you’re seeing these creatures, you’re actually seeing cheaply made automatons. This explains a pigeon’s stupid walk which looks kind of robotic if you think about it. Like rubbish clockwork.

Now don’t say I never tell you anything.